where the rest of us go to feel normal
Help me survive? A GoFundMe made for my hospitalization. ⇝

I know that many of you have asked how you could help.  Many even suggested making a fundraiser.  ….but when I knew I’d need over 70k, it didn’t even seem worth it.  But, a friend of my mother’s started this for me.   I edited some of the content, so it’s personalized.  Since my mother and I can’t post it to our Facebook’s etc (to protect my anonymity) and garner our friends/family support, you guys are really my only other family.  And, I know that most of you are just kids, or are poor too and just trying to get treatment yourselves.  But.  I have to try.  Maybe even just reblog this?  Someone sensitive to cPTSD/DID might be able to help, or know someone else to pass it along to that can.  Share it, tweet it, hashtag it for others to track.  I’ve seen some pretty small things get around tumblr like wildfire.  I’ve also been guilty of not reblogging for others when they go around because I doubt the sincerity of their needs.  I understand if you feel the same; or your OCD is getting to you, too, and you just can’t figure out how to make that reblog “fit” in with your blog.  (Been there, done that, too — I understand when the puzzle just can’t be cracked.)  ….But, I am genuine.  Probably even over-apologetically so.  I haven’t even added the “Oh yeah, and I’m in a wheelchair” bit to this plea, but I still don’t have the money it takes to save my life.  So, I am asking for your support.  And, if that only comes in shares, that’s still something to me.  Put it on Facebook, where the rich folks are; it doesn’t have to stay on tumblr!  (I can’t, or I would.)  If my parents have to pay for all of this….??  Please understand what that will do to me (or get creative and imagine).  We may actually have sue my insurance company later for their gross negligence, but I’d really rather not.  I feel silly doing this as it is.  But a dollar from each of you that you don’t spend on an iTunes track would add up to well beyond most of the travel expenses.  So, I had to try.  Here it is.  I begin treatment in two days.  If this terror wasn’t looming over my head, maybe I’d stand a chance at focusing on my treatment, and not all the ways I’ll be eternally indebted to my parents.  Here’s the real blurb:

1 month ago | 90 notes

Hey guys.  I just wanted to let you know, if you haven’t seen on any of my other social media, that we’ll be leaving to go inpatient today.  We can’t check in until Tuesday, so I’ll likely still have a couple days in the hotel to be on my computer to say hi/bye again (after a VERRRY long train ride).  But, I wanted to give you all a heads up just in case the opportunity doesn’t really present itself.  If you all want to cross fingers, toes, arms, eyes and feet that insurance FINALLY comes through and pays for me, I could use all the positive energy in that direction that I could get. Right now it looks as if we’ll be having to pay out of pocket and, well, you don’t need to know much about me/my story to know why that’s just the worst thing ever. 

Also, I know that some of you have asked for an address to write me or have sent wonderful things our way in the past to inpatient centers, so I’ll include the address here as well:

Kristie [see below]
New Orleans Institute: Trauma-based Disorders
River Oaks Hospital
1525 River Oaks Road West
New Orleans, LA 70123
[now, about my last name….of course that must be added, but I can’t allow my name to become googleable since i’m the only one in the world.  so, you can either ask around OR use this, which is my last name backwards: ylnoKcM ]

I hope you all take care, and we really really really appreciate ALL the messages that we’ve gotten recently — and our apologies for not having the time to answer them all.  <33

1 month ago | 15 notes
……oh photos like this actually make me miss Home.  but, life out here with Jenn is better than some fluffy clouds.  if only she could come with me inside, it&#8217;d be the best of both worlds. :) 

……oh photos like this actually make me miss Home.  but, life out here with Jenn is better than some fluffy clouds.  if only she could come with me inside, it’d be the best of both worlds. :) 

1 month ago | 17,259 notes
The poison leaves bit by bit, not all at once. Be patient. You are healing.

~ Yasmin Mogahed

1 month ago | 30,963 notes
-aww, something about this &#8212;simple as it is&#8212; reminds me of lil Jae-insiders: Jaelyn &#8220;lil Jae&#8221; Noelle // 3

-aww, something about this —simple as it is— reminds me of lil Jae-
insiders: Jaelyn “lil Jae” Noelle // 3

1 month ago | 9,486 notes
-if you mixed alllll the faces of the trio of gals who are SO connected to one another you&#8217;d get this lovely face.   Emily, Abby and Addie.  the fact that she&#8217;s surrounded by Emmy&#8217;s flutterbies is just so perfect.-insider mashup: Emily, Abby and Addie // 16, 15, 17

-if you mixed alllll the faces of the trio of gals who are SO connected to one another you’d get this lovely face.   Emily, Abby and Addie.  the fact that she’s surrounded by Emmy’s flutterbies is just so perfect.-
insider mashup: Emily, Abby and Addie // 16, 15, 17

1 month ago | 12 notes
-omgosh, omgosh, omgosh.  okay, so i know we’ve tried relentlessly to describe the bedroom level of our home.  and how, there’s this small little balcony that overlooks the circle of bedrooms — so that if you’re standing RIGHT outside your bedroom door and look straight up, there will be this little overhead with a railing around it.  now, this is certainly a very very tiny version of that (the overhang itself goes the entiiiiire perimeter of the bedroom level, so it&#8217;s probably over ten times the circumference of this little &#8216;circle&#8217; here), but it’s still such a strong similarity, it had to be shared.  BUT.  the part that’s so exciting to us is that, even though it has very similar embellishments (despite the railing itself actually being black), ours is just a circle without any of the points and curves.  and THIS makes us want so so soooo badly to modify ours to have some of these curves and just…fancy it up!!  what a fantastic idea!!  now, the other thing that’s different is that you see a significant amount of the ceiling before the ‘hole’ (by virtue that this isn&#8217;t an overhead and is just a space in the above floor).  there’s only a couple feet worth from the wall that supports the bedroom doors before the lip of the balcony.  annnnd, up through that hole (which, as I said is muchhhhhh much wider) is a massive expanse up the a huge, convex, almost-dome-like glass ceiling.  it’s wildly beautiful.  this gave such excitement inside and inspiration to modify the overhang of what’s actually the “skywalk” to walk on from the reverse side on the floor above.  yayyy-

-omgosh, omgosh, omgosh.  okay, so i know we’ve tried relentlessly to describe the bedroom level of our home.  and how, there’s this small little balcony that overlooks the circle of bedrooms — so that if you’re standing RIGHT outside your bedroom door and look straight up, there will be this little overhead with a railing around it.  now, this is certainly a very very tiny version of that (the overhang itself goes the entiiiiire perimeter of the bedroom level, so it’s probably over ten times the circumference of this little ‘circle’ here), but it’s still such a strong similarity, it had to be shared.  BUT.  the part that’s so exciting to us is that, even though it has very similar embellishments (despite the railing itself actually being black), ours is just a circle without any of the points and curves.  and THIS makes us want so so soooo badly to modify ours to have some of these curves and just…fancy it up!!  what a fantastic idea!!  now, the other thing that’s different is that you see a significant amount of the ceiling before the ‘hole’ (by virtue that this isn’t an overhead and is just a space in the above floor).  there’s only a couple feet worth from the wall that supports the bedroom doors before the lip of the balcony.  annnnd, up through that hole (which, as I said is muchhhhhh much wider) is a massive expanse up the a huge, convex, almost-dome-like glass ceiling.  it’s wildly beautiful.  this gave such excitement inside and inspiration to modify the overhang of what’s actually the “skywalk” to walk on from the reverse side on the floor above.  yayyy-

1 month ago | 61,619 notes
-oh another perfect &#8220;insider relationship&#8221; shot.  lil Jae (left) and Charlie don&#8217;t get to spend toooo much time together, but when they do, Charlie just always has to shower her with love.  since Molly&#8217;s been suffering so much lately, lil Jae&#8217;s come downstairs (not &#8220;Downstairs&#8221;, just down a flight) to hang out with Charlie and Katie more &#8212; so, we&#8217;ve gotten to see this a lot more.  which, is great, because lil Jae&#8217;s needed that as much as Charlie, Katie and all the kids.  on another note, this just looks a lot like them.  sure, there are always differences, but the similarities are excellent.-insiders: Jaelyn Noelle (3) // Charlotte &#8220;Charlie&#8221; Taegan (5)

-oh another perfect “insider relationship” shot.  lil Jae (left) and Charlie don’t get to spend toooo much time together, but when they do, Charlie just always has to shower her with love.  since Molly’s been suffering so much lately, lil Jae’s come downstairs (not “Downstairs”, just down a flight) to hang out with Charlie and Katie more — so, we’ve gotten to see this a lot more.  which, is great, because lil Jae’s needed that as much as Charlie, Katie and all the kids.  on another note, this just looks a lot like them.  sure, there are always differences, but the similarities are excellent.-
insiders: Jaelyn Noelle (3) // Charlotte “Charlie” Taegan (5)

1 month ago | 372 notes
insiders: Sydney Rebekah // 28-of course!-

insiders: Sydney Rebekah // 28
-of course!-

1 month ago | 7,364 notes
-soooo, the adorable little blonde is a little too tall to be lil Jae (3) and just a tad too tiny to be Molly (7). &#8230;and I really do mean only &#8216;just a tad&#8217; bc Molly is an incredibly tiny seven-yr-old.  but, that&#8217;s still Rae.  beautiful Rae always there for our kiddos.  this is a beautiful image.  it reminds me of Rae and Molly, even if she&#8217;s a bit little!-insiders: Rachael Avery (28) // a too-little version of Molly ;)

-soooo, the adorable little blonde is a little too tall to be lil Jae (3) and just a tad too tiny to be Molly (7). …and I really do mean only ‘just a tad’ bc Molly is an incredibly tiny seven-yr-old.  but, that’s still Rae.  beautiful Rae always there for our kiddos.  this is a beautiful image.  it reminds me of Rae and Molly, even if she’s a bit little!-
insiders: Rachael Avery (28) // a too-little version of Molly ;)

1 month ago | 36 notes
&#8230;&#8230;just a beautiful shot of some of Emily&#8217;s flutterbyes.

……just a beautiful shot of some of Emily’s flutterbyes.

1 month ago | 1,707 notes
-aw, now THIS is a great image of Sinead.  that mystery, but the neverending intrigue.  she&#8217;s always hiding, curious to learn something by observing.  forever a little elf.-insiders: Sinead Erynette // 28

-aw, now THIS is a great image of Sinead.  that mystery, but the neverending intrigue.  she’s always hiding, curious to learn something by observing.  forever a little elf.-
insiders: Sinead Erynette // 28

1 month ago | 2 notes
-so. much. love. for this shot.  I know i’ve found a lot of images of addie and abby individually lately, but this is SO perfect of both of them.  right down to Addie’s piercing blue eyes, the hearts on their shirts, the specific TYPE of beauty they individually possess that differs from one another; their friendship and connectedness.  ugh.  i fucking love it.  so much. it’s perfect.-insiders: Adelle “Addie” Sedonah and Abigail “Abby” Riley // 17 and 15

-so. much. love. for this shot.  I know i’ve found a lot of images of addie and abby individually lately, but this is SO perfect of both of them.  right down to Addie’s piercing blue eyes, the hearts on their shirts, the specific TYPE of beauty they individually possess that differs from one another; their friendship and connectedness.  ugh.  i fucking love it.  so much. it’s perfect.-
insiders: Adelle “Addie” Sedonah and Abigail “Abby” Riley // 17 and 15

1 month ago | 375 notes
-such a simple picture of Ian at the table.  …but such a simple, quiet task where he’s not suffering makes all of us so happy whenever it happens.  [only difference is he never lets his arms be bare.]  still, it makes us think of him.-insiders: Ian Bennett // 8

-such a simple picture of Ian at the table.  …but such a simple, quiet task where he’s not suffering makes all of us so happy whenever it happens.  [only difference is he never lets his arms be bare.]  still, it makes us think of him.-
insiders: Ian Bennett // 8

1 month ago | 3 notes
-eek.  perfect morganne.  blonde hair, olive green/muted vintage tone jacket, TWO cameras at her hip and overall unassuming cute, quiet demeanor.  perfect.-insiders: Morganne Zirell // 17

-eek.  perfect morganne.  blonde hair, olive green/muted vintage tone jacket, TWO cameras at her hip and overall unassuming cute, quiet demeanor.  perfect.-
insiders: Morganne Zirell // 17

1 month ago | 3,765 notes
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